August 16, 2006

  • It's about time . .

    I think its time to make some major changes in my life.  My outlook . . . my organization . . my drive . . my goals.  I haven't really been living my life.


    It's not like I've been a hermit.    But in regards to a social life?  Thats pretty close to the truth. 


    It's not like I don't do anything.  Far from it.  I work a full time day job . . . I'm a professional musician in the evenings.  I do a lot.  But that just about sums me up.  I go. . . I do (work, play etc), I go home. 


     


    Wash, rinse, repeat.


     


    I've been floating through really.  Not really pushing myself. . . not really expecting a lot.  My house is a mess . . and I really think thats a reflection of my life at the moment.  (ok . . . so yes. . . I'm moving.  But thats not an excuse.  My life is cluttered . . . as is my apartment.  moving or not).


    What's happened to ~me~?  The fun me.  The me that went dancing with my friends . . . the me that got out and played.  The me that was motivated.  The me that pushed myself until I got where I wanted to be? 


    I think she's hiding.


    I need to find her.  I think we played a game of hide and seek . . and she's been hiding for a while, and I've yet to find her.  She's getting restless.  Can't blame her really . . she's been hiding for quite some time!


     


    So life has a new plan.  New apartment, new car . . . new outlook.  New motivations, new energy (even if it kills me! *grin*).  A NEW old me.