April 24, 2007

• Today . . . I am officially one year away from turning 30.  . . . . the big 2-9 . . . I'll probably stay this age for the rest of my life.   

  
  

  I always thought I'd be somewhere BIG . . . thought that after I turned 25 . . my life would take off . . . and I'd be somewhere doing amazing things and having the time of my life.  . . not stuck in a day job that had nothing to do with my major, just so I can pay my bills and live sortof comfortably.  I thought I'd be married with a kid or two . . starting a life somewhere . . . and yet . . here I am . . . working day to day, paycheck to paycheck.  I don't really mind that much . . . its just that I see no future in what I'm doing.  Its not that i don't do things that I love . . . I am a very busy freelance musician in the area . . . . but its not paying off like I hoped it would.  I play fun gigs . . for very little pay.  I'm a great horn player . . . its what I'm supposed to do!  Yet it is SO hard to get a job.  so hard.  I just have to keep at it . . until I get one! 

  
  

  I've been contemplating a change . . . a fresh start . . . finding somewhere new. . . getting a new job, trying to break into a new music market.  It'll be hard. . . but it just might be the jumpstart that I need to get that once-in-a-lifetime music gig.  I don't have any specifics as of yet . . . its just a thought in the back of my mind.  Lately it's been creeping up more and more often.  Not only that. . I want to escape the winter as well.  yuuch!   

  
  

  my main thing is . . . do I have the guts to do this?  Do I have the courage to leave my little 'safe haven' . . .where I have a job, and have music gigs . . . . do I have what it takes to walk into a new musical area and say "I'm the one you want" . . . and make everyone believe it? 

  
  

  I hope so. . .

  • 1:28 pm
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