I have so much to say . . .
that I only have silence to give.
Month: July 2008
-
"July 6, in the morning
My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at
that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be
definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time - Why this
deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through
sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you
change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine - Oh
God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with
that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly -
thus it is to me with you, and to your with me. But you forget so
easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united
you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful
one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking
horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at
the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was
made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I
was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a
bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should
have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road
here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I
got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully
overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from
things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I
cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few
days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I
would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to
you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing
at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am
yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be -
Your faithful LUDWIG"
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